Try These Apologies, Tiger Woods!

I don’t condone Tiger Woods cheating on his wife, but I’m tired of these attention seeking hussies going on national television and requesting newspaper interviews where they state they are seeking an apology from Tiger Woods because he made them believe he loved them. In my opinion, they are the ones who should apologize. They injured an innocent woman by knowingly cheating with her husband. They owe Elin Woods a public apology.

The only apology Tiger owed, he gave to Elin. Now, the decent thing for these women to do is shut up and stop injuring this woman any more than they already have.

If Tiger does apologize to any of the women he had sex with, the apologies should go something like this:
I’m sorry you decided to have sex with me knowing I was married.
I apologize for allowing you to sneak into my wife’s home while she was gone.
I’m sorry you were gullible enough to think I was really in love with your unattractive behind.
I’m sorry you were so needy that you dropped everything to answer my every beck and call.
I’m sorry that when I wouldn’t give you a dime for sex, you didn’t see that for what it was: I didn’t really care about your welfare.

To all you other Tiger Woods haters out there (news reporters, other pro golfers, etc):
I’m sorry you thought this little sex scandal would keep me from coming back.
To all my fans and those who love golf: I’m sorry I’ve been away.

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